Sunday, January 01, 2006

So what else is new?

The Wall Street Journal had an editorial last Friday saying that Katrina and Tsunami and Earthquake in Pakistan and the Iraq mess notwithstanding, 2005 wasn't that bad a year. The nerve! And our very own POTUS thinks his disgraceful, utterly incompetent, pandering, dishonest, self-interested presidency is one for the history books. I hope he's right. I hope we're wrong and fifty years from now we all go (you, cause I don't think I'll last that long) "Man, that Bush was right: there is a Disneyland in Baghdad and a Starbucks in Karachi and we suckers had pegged him all wrong". As if.
(Those three dots next to the title mean there is a link waiting to scare the bejesus out of you).

In any case, I hope y'all had a great time last night and didn't start the year already regretting your excesses. I didn't, for once, which must mean I'm finally maturing (less charitable individuals would call it aging). What can I tell you, dear readers, with each passing year this new year's business leaves me less and less excited. Don't get me wrong, I am extremely happy to be alive and always grateful at the mere chance of breathing, but it seems to me that life is just an endless cycle of ups and downs to which we ascribe some meaningful dates to avoid going insane. Still, I was very lucky to spend the last hours of 2005 with my favorite people. But who are we kidding, the first day of the year is always a bummer.

So here's my wish list for 2006:

• If we have any natural disasters again, I wish they are not handled by any friends of POTUS. In fact, if we are due for another natural catastrophe, I wish it hits D.C. instead (around the vicinity of Capitol Hill and the White House, if you want to be precise). How 'bout a flood at the WSJ? Let's see if they still muster such a sunny disposition about other people's tragedies.
• It would be nice for a change if someone in the Middle East decided to cooperate with one another, instead of blowing each other up. Hey, guys, don't kill the messenger, it's just a thought.
• If the US Government indeed builds a wall at the border, I hope it collapses frequently from so many people climbing over it and burrowing under it. I also hope it gets defaced with tacky hand painted ads for norteño bands.
• I hope the media gives the already nauseating Brangelina, TomKat, two-bit celebrity bullshit a rest. Please.
• I hope Paris Hilton joins a convent and disappears from the public eye. The Olsen twins then follow suit.
• I hope Americans stop treating their TV sets and the sitcoms on them as if they were a member of the family. Read a book, for God's sake. Chicken Soup for the Couch Potato's Soul doesn't count.
• I hope both Judges Alito and Roberts turn out to be the right wingers' worst nightmares. I hope they all get constitutional conniptions, the lot of them.
• I hope Americans get some sense into their heads and say no to state imposed theocracy.
• I hope the spineless cowards of the mainstream media get some backbone and start doing their job.
• I hope the Democrats get smart (I know, I'm dreaming).
• I wish focus groups in any way, shape or form or for any purpose, are outlawed.
• I wish we curb our insatiable tendencies for evil.

A happy, healthy, loving, creative, peaceful 2006 to you.

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