Friday, April 07, 2006

Double Feature

Nora Ephron kvetches about an experience she had at a NYC multiplex the other day. My two cents:

1. That's why I live downtown.
2. Going to movies in NY is as obnoxious an experience as going out to restaurants. You pay too much money for not such a great experience.
3. Nora complains at length about the terrible quality of the food sold. I complain about the food. If I ruled the world, which is a secret plan I'm hatching, no food would be allowed in movie theaters. Ever. Imagine: no more smell of popcorn fart ever again. You guys will thank me.
4. She should complain about the price gouging with the food. It is criminal.
Nora, bring your own food, but don't be like that guy who sat next to me as I watched The End of the Affair, chomping on his pastrami sandwich from Katz's. Don't.

Thus, I have a simple suggestion for Nora and for all the abused moviegoers of New York.
No ticket takers? Farblondgetter ushers? Projectionist from hell? Popcorn from the Paleozooic? Make it a Two Movies For The Price Of One night (if you haven't done it yet, you rascals).

Movies are way too expensive, so it only seems fair. Two, if the ushers or managers can't be bothered to check, just waltz into any other of the screens and enjoy your double feature. Serves them right.

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